Crash

Music: Kelly Kelly Clarkson - Where is your heart 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_s7RKf4tLQA

 Time: 10:00 pm

How ridiculous is it, that a heart can flip moods like an expert cook with steak.

I treat my symptoms with verbal therapy. I heal myself with a spoken truth.  Like a child softly murmuring and then carefully but clearly articulating new sounds.  Addressing life's problems in the face. 

Come again a neon blue. The blunt stabs denting the walls of my sanity.

Make stronger.

Mask

Music: Radiohead - No Surprises

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5CVsCnxyXg

Time: 21:02

  I quickly transform my face into lines of rigidness.  It's quite a clever mask and most times I'm quite proud of it.  But lately I've begun to fear the mask is taking over, and the delicate parts of my face can not tell when the act is over, and stays contracted.  I massage them with the tip of my fingertips.  Clockwise, then anticlockwise.
  I go about my daily business with a blue sky capped above my head, a true bliss considering where I come from.  I imagine Taipei gloomy, with its grey population trudging about. And here I walk with my water bottle, temperature cool and giving away to the surrounding heat. I walk back and forth between my office chair and the conference room.  That's where I refill the my water bottle.  The water enters my bottle in a steady flow but my mind is a blank flow. I peer out like an aging prisoner sentenced to love.

I never look forward to you.

Music: TINA MAY & NIKKI ILES - Change Of Sky
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQnY4F_RtXM

Mad and tired. derit dna daM. If there was no bubble to begin with why does she feel like as if the bubble's burst?  Then one feels so ridiculously foolish because she knew, she knew that feelings were not trustworthy.  Of hers or anyone's.

Shallow music enter ears of regret.  Never once have they fallen together in the whirlpool of gold at rainbow's end. A dip or two, she says guiltily, I only splashed about a bit, nothing serious. But she wrings her hands as she vomits up ribbons of lies.

I never look forward to you.

Let us mourn without music.

Time: No Time

The immediate dash of pain as it sears through my hanging hope of freedom from a simple weekend.
A simple two day weekend.
Gone! Gone like the wind!
Gone as swift as a young antelope would charge down a golden autumn hill.
Crushing the dry leaves into a million dead pieces as he goes.